


Can't Let You Go

by Vypera



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crying Lance (Voltron), Depression, Hurt, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-23 08:22:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20005243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vypera/pseuds/Vypera
Summary: Keith cancel's on Lance last minute, again. Lance doesn't take it well.





	Can't Let You Go

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Birthday Lance ^-^ this wasn't what I had planned but I hope you'll like it anyway ^-^
> 
> This story is based on something that happened to me a few years ago but obviously I changed certain aspects and made it a whole lot more emotional ^^;;
> 
> See ya at the end ;)

**Sorry, I don’t think we can meet today after all. I’m still at James’ place.**

Lance felt a pang in his heart and threw his phone on the floor, not giving a shit whether the screen cracked or the device broke.

One week. They had planned to meet up today one week ago, yet Keith still cancelled on him last minute because James was apparently so much more important. Keith spent every-fucking-night at James’ place – not a big surprise there, they’d been boyfriends for almost 4 years now – but Lance had been Keith’s best friend for nearly a decade.

Wasn’t he more important?

“Fuck you too, asshole.”

This wasn’t the first time Keith cancelled planes with him because of James. Last month they had wanted to go to the cinema together but just a few hours before the movie started, Keith had cancelled without an explanation. Half an hour later Lance found James’ story on Instagram, showing him and Keith cuddling on the couch with a pizza carton in the background.

A few months ago Keith had had a heated argument with his mother and left without another word. He’d asked Lance if he could stay over and just after Lance had prepared the guest room, Keith called him; he would stay with James until everything calmed down.

Lance was sick of it. He knew he wasn’t important or special but did their friendship mean nothing to Keith?

They’ve had good times together; back in school they’d always spend the breaks together, joking around and having fun. Keith never hesitated to call him his only real and best friend. Lance had felt happy; finally there was someone who cared about him, other than his family.

But now? Lance knew the truth – had for a few years now – but he didn’t want to accept it.

There had been so many people who’d left him hanging when it mattered most; it was a miracle Lance hadn’t broken down just yet. He had opened his heart to Keith; let him in, trusted him but Lance should have known better.

Humans didn’t change, they never learned. They took everything they had for granted and acted accordingly.

Lance felt tears run down his face but didn’t bother wiping them away. Who’d care about it anyway? His mother? His sisters and brothers? Sure, they would care, but it was like an unwritten rule to care about your family. Their concerns meant nothing to Lance.

There was only one person he’d ever wanted to care; Keith, but Keith had stopped caring about him, about their friendship, a long time ago.

Lance should feel disappointed, sad and maybe even angry but he didn’t. His heart was beating painfully strong in his chest and every beat reminded him of the time they’d spent together. All these years he had been holding dear like a treasure but apparently he had been the only one.

Keith had never messaged him of his own accord, it had always been Lance. Even when Lance had been fighting against his depression and they hadn’t chatted in months; Keith never bothered to ask about his well-being or if he wanted to meet up.

It was always Lance.

“Why did I even bother?” Lance muttered with his voice being void of any feelings. “Was there even a time he actually cared about me?”

Lance waited for hours but it was in vain. Keith didn’t ask whether he was angry at him for cancelling or if they could meet up another time so he could make it up to Lance. His phone stayed silent, no message reaching his inbox.

At some point Lance must have fallen asleep, his eyes were opening unwillingly and every bone in his body was hurting from sleeping in a weird position. Without his intention, Lance’s eyes landed on his phone which was still on the floor. He knew he shouldn’t; both his heart and mind begged him to not pick it up and check for messages, knowing there would be nothing waiting for him but Lance did it anyway.

Lance wasn’t sure what he felt anymore. Hurt? Anger? Betrayal? Probably all of them but that didn’t change the facts; he missed Keith, missed his best friend.

“Fuck,” Lance whispered, new tears forming in his eyes. “Why did I have to fall in love with him? We’re not meant to be, so why?”

Phone pressed against his chest he sat on his bed, silent tears running over his face. He had never wanted to acknowledge it, these feelings deep inside his heart and the way his very being ached to be with Keith, the one who had stolen Lance’s heart without his permission.

Love wasn’t beautiful; it was cruel and came when you least expected it, when you least needed it.

Keith loved James, Lance knew that. They had their ups and downs but at the end of the day, they always found their way back together. Lance had no space within their relationship. If given the choice, Keith would always choose James. Lance was no competition.

Rain hammered against his open window, thunder roaring through the dark sky, but Lance only smiled softly; at least the sky seemed to feel somewhat sorry for him.

His brain and heart were still fighting inside him, driving him crazy. They were like an angel and a demon on his shoulder, trying to get him to act according to either his rationality or his feelings.

His brain wanted for him to finally give up on this so-called ‘friendship’ and begged him to search for his happiness somewhere else. The voice of his heart – louder and desperate – reminded him of the good times they had; their first meeting, the sleepovers and the joy he felt whenever he saw Keith or heard his voice.

Lance took a deep breath to clear his mind. It was no use to think about it; there was no right answer. Either way, Lance would suffer. His hands shook as he opened his chat with Keith, writing down everything he had always wanted to tell him; how sick he was of being ignored and how much he hated himself for falling for him, knowing there was no space for him in Keith’s life.

Finally, his finger hovered over the ‘send’ button, just one simple click away from freeing himself from this unhealthy friendship. Lance wanted to press the button – maybe then he would find someone who’d actually return his feelings and love him with all his flaws – but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

He just couldn’t.

With tears running down his face, Lance hit ‘delete’ and watched the letters disappear, one by one, until the message-bar was completely blank yet again.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

His body was trembling, while his finger – in a last desperate attempt to save his heart and mind from the pain and agony it had been feeling for so long – hung over the button to block Keith’s number. Deep inside Lance knew it wouldn’t make a difference; Keith wouldn’t even notice it, after all he never bothered to message Lance of his own accord. Even so, Lance couldn’t do it.

He couldn’t press it, no matter how much his brain wanted to; his heart was in control, wanting to hang on to the bitter-sweet memories they had shared over the years and not giving up on the already ruined friendship.

“I wish I could hate you, but I can’t. I love you, Keith,” Lance admitted to the darkness in his room, letting go of his phone and hugging his pillow close, drenching it in his tears. “I’ve always loved you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope you... liked it? ^^;;
> 
> This is not even close to what I had originally planned to write for Lance's birthday but I still felt like it was a story meant to be uploaded today...
> 
> I don't write angst very often but nevertheless I hope I managed to convey his feelings and thoughts to you :)
> 
> If you enjoyed this, I'd really appreciate a comment and kudos ^-^
> 
> See ya next time~
> 
> \- Vipera


End file.
